I am sitting across the desk of an “alpha-female” of a bio-tech company during an intense coaching session.  She is strong, opinionated, and passionate.  I will call her Carrie.  For the past two years, Carrie had been giving it her all. 

By giving it her all, she has annoyed, disenfranchised, and upset many of her teammates.  A new management team came into the company, and handed out new titles.  Carrie was not on the receiving line.

Carrie came to me distressed, angry, but most of all, resigned.    She said that the upset team members and the new management team have clearly sent her the message that they do NOT want her leadership.  She said she was going to re-evaluate her life, consider new options at work, but the scariest message of all, was that she was going to stop caring, stop giving it her all, let someone else take the lead for a change.

I told her she was being inauthentic.  I told her that because of her life history, her passion, and her abilities, that she was destined to be a leader.  I told her that people on her team would be upset if she didn’t show up as a leader.

Carrie was stunned.  She was not “given” a leadership title.  She said the management team has already “voted” her off of the elite corps of leadership.  The team has been frustrated with her demeanor.  How could the team be UPSET if she didn’t show up as leader?

I told Carrie that people recognize natural leadership qualities and demand that individuals with these talents bring out their best in others.  People can smell leadership gifts, talents, and the difference a leader is destined to make.  People demand this difference, and lose trust in these leaders when they do not show up demanding the best from themselves and others around them.

Carrie is a natural leader.  Her passion to achieve extraordinary results is obvious.  Her desire to be the best at what she does is clear.  Her demeanor, the way she dresses, and the way she carries herself, says to the world, “I have incredible amounts of inspiration, integrity, and compassion.”  If Carrie does not put herself out there to lead, to move a team forward, to inspire those around her, Carrie is not being authentic.  If Carrie does anything less than inspire others to do their best, she will cause others to distrust her. 

Could it be that people will lose trust in you when you don’t lead them, even though you have not been asked to lead?  Carrie would argue that leadership is only demanded from those who are anointed.  As a coach with years of coaching leaders, I have found that people smell your potential, and lose trust in you, when you shy away from the leadership work you were placed on the planet to do.

Bill George, the author of “True North,” states in his book, “(t)he world may have very different expectations for you and your leadership than you have for yourself.”

Many people claim that authenticity is living according to your values and your defined destiny.

Authenticity is much more than that.  In fact, you don’t really have the final say in whether you are being an authentic leader.  Everyday people determine YOUR authenticity, depending upon whether YOU live according to THEIR leadership expectations.  They trust you depending upon your commitment, struggle, and passion to unleash yourself on the world, according to THEIR needs, THEIR understanding of your potential, and THEIR knowledge of the difference you can truly make.  

People know who you are.  They know what you can achieve, and they judge you on the basis of your living up to their understood expectations of you.

Some say leadership is a choice.  Some say that YOU determine what you are to lead.  They say that you determine your own authenticity.

I say leadership is an obligation.  From experience I know that your leadership potential is determined by others.  They know you better than you know yourself.  They understand THEIR needs much better than you do.

As you embark upon the month of May, ask yourself:

-Who needs me to show up as a leader?

-What are their needs, right now?

-Am I in deep enough inquiry as to how I can serve their needs?

-Am I redefining how my leadership style to best serve others?

-Am I determining my leadership, vs. waiting for others to invite me to the game?

In order to be extraordinary, listen to what others say you must be.  Listen to their deep desire for the difference you are to make.  You will achieve extraordinary results by constantly asking, what do people need from you, how can you best serve those needs, and how proactive are you in listening to how the world wants you to show up as a leader?